A few days ago, my eldest daughter, Grace was sitting on my bed, watching me get dressed. She had been considering me in a serious way, clearly something was puzzling her.
"Why are you so fat Mummy? Why is your tummy so big? "
And then, much to my absolute horror & heartbreak;
"Why have you let yourself go?"
I was so shocked & utterly upset, that I was speechless. I wanted to say so, so much, but nothing came out. No words. This was not a conversation I had ever considered I would be having with my 7 year old daughter.
Yes, the truth in her words stung bitterly, but as I gathered my thoughts & emotions, it became apparent that what horrified me more was the realisation that my 7 year old daughter was becoming aware of body image & more importantly, getting a very skewed view of what is 'good' & what is 'bad'.
We do not watch regular TV in our house, but the children all have access to watch blu- rays & catch up on the internet. We don't read print newspapers or magazines, everything is online. Grace is an avid reader. Enid Blyton being one of her favourites. As far as we were concerned, the children were pretty much protected from mainstream media. I have absolutely no idea where she was introduced to these thoughts & phrases.
How can it be, that a beautiful, intelligent 7 year old girl has become aware of fat or thin? Not to mention the mindnumbingly idiotic sentiment of 'letting yourself go'. I don't want her spending her time worrying about how she looks. Instead of worrying 'Is my dress pretty?' Now it will be 'Does this dress make me look fat ?'
What a very sad state of things when a 7 year old is concerned with such unimportant things as being fat. Her head should be full of fairies, pixies, wonder & an insatiable zest for knowledge. Her head should be filled with questions of worth, not fickle nonsense about someone's appearance.
Where did I go wrong?
What can I do about it?
Honestly, I don't know. Perhaps the single most depressing thing about it all is that it cannot be undone. She has become aware, someone has turned on a little light in her clever little head that I cannot switch off. It's like Christmas. Once you know, you can never be innocent & believe again. You simply can't 'unknow' something.
Love Kitty x
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